Guest Post: Wishes

We finally have internet at our home! Gotta love Africa time!

Here is a great post by Casey. She really does know how to love people well.

You can check out her previous posts Directions and Follow the Yes.

I’ve been taking an art journaling class and last night we were asked to share something we’re good at ~ one thing we considered a “gift.”

The group was made up of four women, and we all struggled with the question.  One woman said she couldn’t think of anything, which prompted someone else in the group to compliment her artistic ability.

After thinking for a bit, I just kept seeing my son’s face and, to use one of my husband’s words, my crazysplashfunnylove for him.  I decided I was good at loving the people in my life that are important to me.  And while I think it’s definitely important to be able to give and receive love, why was it so hard to come up with something I’m good at?

And why was it just as hard for the other women in the group?

I think sometimes it’s feels like bragging or even a challenge to the rest of the world.  Hey, world, look at me, I can do this.  And then, suddenly, the fear of being called out by someone more skilled, experienced, and accomplished.  Confidence immediately leads to judgment, which is something I try to avoid at all costs.

Where did this notion come from?  And why have I seen it on the faces of so many women I’ve sat in circle with?  I look at my shy, tentative son, and I don’t want him to be afraid of things, the way I am.  I want him to see a world of possibility and the beauty he adds to it with his words, his art, his passions. 

And I think the hardest thing in the world is realizing that the only way I can teach him about living and loving fearlessly, being vulnerable but strong, is by him seeing those things in me.  Things I struggle with every day but things I am reaching for nonetheless.

Even if I’m not exactly where I want to be right now, I’ve got to keep trying to get there. And I think teaching him that, to keep going even when it’s hard, might be just as important.

About Casey:

From the time she was 9 & obsessed with writing stories on her plastic blue typewriter in Clifton, New Jersey until eventually earning a creative writing degree, Casey has always been a storyteller at heart. She is also an artist, photographer & dreamer living in Omaha, Nebraska with her son, husband, and 3 kitties. Together they laugh, create & fight crime.