"We Are Those Parents"

We are a breast feeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, wait it out, gentle and attachment parenting family.

I didn't even know there was a name for how we are doing things. But when Carsen came, we sort of fell into our rhythm, and this type of parenting became our rhyme.

I used to be scared to say that in fear of being judged by traditional America, but now I'm proud of our family and our choices.

There are so many decisions to make when you become a parent - how long to breast feed; cloth diapers or disposable; attachment parenting or sleep training; organic or non-organic food; gentle parenting or mainstream parenting; etc. It's enough to make your head spin and fall off.

When I was pregnant with Carsen, a well intended friend told Kevin and I that our baby needed to know early on that he was coming into an already functioning family, and this baby should be put on a schedule to fit in.

By no means are we perfect parents, but we didn't listen to the advice of our friend.
It's not that we went out of our way not to listen, it just happened.
But I believe we love and parent Carsen the way the Lord is directing us to.
And that's enough for me.

Honestly, I never expected to parent this way. I always thought I would help guide my baby's sleep and routine with the baby "experts'" help. I always thought I'd praise my child for being "good" and discipline for being "bad". And never did I think twice about cloth diapers or how long I'd nurse my baby.

I'm not commenting on one way of parenting, and saying another is better, to each their own.
Being a parent is HARD ENOUGH without judgement.
What I am saying is how drastically my views changed once this little boy came into my life.

I'm not the same.
I'm a different person because of him.

And I'm completely OK with that.

Carsen's made me a better version of myself.

More patient.
Slower to speak.
Quicker to listen.
He makes me want to be better.
A better mother.
A better wife.
A better friend.

And it is my desire to show Carsen the heart of God through my parenting:
Relationship above rules.
Freedom over compliance.
Love instead of fear.
Choices, not control.

For those of you without kids or pregnant with your first, my advice to you: stop reading all the books and listen to your baby. You know them best. It's our job as parents to make our babies secure in our love. Ask the Lord, and not the input of "a professional" for his insight and I bet He will show you. He showed us. He is faithful like that.

Oh, and whatever parenting choice you make, I don't judge you.
Be free to be you!
Just love your kid on purpose.
It's our highest privilege in life.

If you do want a bit more information, here are some links I've found helpful [Just take all the advice to the Lord!] I never read a parenting book before Carsen was born, but I am now reading Loving Our Kids on Purpose, by Danny Silk and highly recommend it as a touch point.

Breastfeeding [Kellymom*]
Co-sleeping [Dr. Sears]
Wait It Out [Nurshable*]
Gentle parenting [Nurshable]
Positive Discipline [Dr. Laura Markham*]
*my favorites


  1. Good entry. I am doing a lot of this stuff too, not intentionally but because my baby feels loved and secure when I let her sleep with me etc. Also with her personality, not doing it would be way harder. And when people tell me to sleep train her and let her cry it out "she's fine" they don't know my child who dramatically starts hyperventilating and screaming when I leave her alone. If she feels alone, abandoned and scared than I don't think it's good for her. One day she will be ok with it. Every child is different too, some are way more easy going and can be fine on their own. But one day they will be grown and we will miss them like crazy and deffinately not regret any time we "spoiled" them with to much cuddling!


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