Letter to Carsen: 9 months & Counting

Dear Man Cub,

Happy nine months my boy!
9 months!
I cannot even believe it!
You've been outside of me as long as you were inside of me. Like my friend, Kristen, said WHAT A MILESTONE!

You bring such joy to this world.
Your smile warms my insides, and occasionally I cry tears of happiness.

You undo me each and every day.

Some things about you:
- You are a crazy sleeper.
- You fell off the bed in the middle of the night… I don’t want to get into all the particulars because it traumatized me, but let's just say we put the mattress on the floor at about 2 a.m.
- You move around in your sleep ALL.OF.THE.TIME. You end up sideways and turning 180 degrees most nights.
- Sleep is over-rated. You fight it morning, noon and night.
[Note the first four are about your sleep... Momma lives and breaths when and how much you sleep :) ]
- You want to stand every minute of every day. And often times practice balancing.
- You have no fear. Most babies have a bit of caution, but not you. You just go for it. I absolutely love this quality about you… And it will have me at the feet of Jesus every single day.
- You were sick pretty bad… And had an enlarged liver and spline that the doctor was worried about so they took blood. So much of it. Mommy had to stand outside while daddy stayed, and I cried. But the minute it was over you were in my arms and nursing. You are so brave.
- Talking is a pastime and you have some loud lungs like your momma.
- We dance in the elevator together [We’ve done that since you were little, but I don’t think I’ve ever told you]
- You are trying more and more foods, minus the few days you were sick and didn’t eat anything.
- You are 20.28lbs. Perfect.
- You started swimming lessons and YOU LOVE IT! You are a little fish. You love floating on your back. You do it with such easy. Your teacher says you are very comfortable in the water. Amen. Surfing, here we come!
- No teeth! I call you my toothless wonder.
- You dislike your pram. Which I'm a little concerned about. You love sitting up straight so you can see all around you, and our pram does not allow you to sit up properly. Once you are bigger you will love it, but for now... it's a bit of a "thing."

Sometimes I cannot wait to have a few minutes of peace and quiet when you go to sleep. But the minute you are asleep and I sit on the couch, I miss you and ache to play with you. Which is why more often than not, I lay next to you after you fall asleep. I stay with you for your whole nap because I just want to be close. I know this won't last forever. So for now, I will take every last cuddle I can get.

Thank you for loving me and my imperfections.
Thank you for making me a better person.
You challenge me.
You inspire me.
You make me believe.

I love you everywhere and back, a million times forever.

Momma bear