I Lost All Control That I Never Actually Had | Straight Talk

Hebrews 11:23, "By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict." 

The other day Carsen had his first accident.

I was at a local cafe with my two midwives drinking tea when all of a sudden Carsen reached out of my arms, grabbed my cup and dipped his hand in to my hot tea.

He, of course, cried hysterically as I comforted and kissed his burned hand. My midwife, not phased in the least, jumped to action dipping his hand in a glass of cold water and marched herself to the cafe's kitchen, like she owned the place, where she proceeded to cut an onion to help relieved Carsen's pain [apparently onions help burns].

I kept my cool, but in that moment the reality that I - his momma - could not keep Him safe terrified me.

Because I realized I, momma bear, have no control.

As a parent, you never want to see harm come near your children. You want to protect them from the world. And with just one, it's easy to think you can prevent injury or pain to reach your child. It's easier to maintain one rather than three or five.

But with this one small incident, so early in Carsen's life, I've realized I won't be able to protect my son from harm.
It's a scary reality to live in.
It's the realization that I lost never had control.

And it's a complete surrendering of my son to the Lord.
It's the realization that my son is not my own.
It brings me to my knees in prayer to God.
He belongs to God, who has given me the honor of caring for and guiding his heart on this earth.

And so, today, and every day that follows I lay Carsen at the feet of Jesus.
Trusting God with his life.
I let go of the control that so enslaves me.
And brings fear to my heart.

And I not only pray God will keep Carsen safe, but will make him dangerous for His purposes.
And I circle Carsen in prayer with Psalm 91.

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

     will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

     my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you

     from the fowler’s snare

     and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,

     and under his wings you will find refuge;

     his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,

     nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

     nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,

     ten thousand at your right hand,

     but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes

     and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”

     and you make the Most High your dwelling,

10 no harm will overtake you,

     no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you

     to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,

     so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;

     you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;

     I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
     I will be with him in trouble,

     I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him

     and show him my salvation.”


  1. Lindsay this is amazing. I love hearing your heart as you write; you communicate it so well. Your writing is fresh and full of genuinity. It really is the best to be surrendered, what a joy that you have such a tender heart to respond to the Lord in that way, love you

  2. Love this. Thanks for sharing. (As always!)



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