Lindsay's Top 10 Truths You May Not Find in Parenting Books:

10. Postpartum is no joke.
You will be a sweaty, balding, hormonal mess.
You will cry.
A lot.
About everything.
Just remember:
No, you are not a bad parent.
Yes, your baby is breathing.

9. You won't get anything completely done, ever again.
The house will get half cleaned.
Emails will get started but never finished.
The DIY project will remain only a thought.
You had great intentions.
Good for you.

8. If anyone asks if your baby is sleeping through the night, or on a schedule, act deaf and walk away.
Parents only ask those questions to brag about their miracle baby and shame you.

7. You will be tired forever.
Sleep deprivation is real.
You will NEVER catch up on sleep.

6. Be prepared to sing everything.
Like a character from Les Mis.
But less depressing.

5. Your kid's poop will not smell like roses.
People told me I wouldn't have a problem with the smell of my own kid's poop.
Not true.
I've gagged and made my husband take over… Twice.

4. When diapering a boy, point it down.

3.The phrase "sleep like a baby" is a crock.
Whoever coined the phrase obviously never had a baby.

2. You will feel like a cow.
And I'm not talking weight issues.
You are more than your boobs.
Remember that.
Say it out loud.

1. Growing up is for the birds.
Enjoy the chaos of those first few months.
It goes by way too fast.

Thanks to all my friends and Facebook group friends who joined in the fun!


  1. Lindsay. ...I love your writing.... so true and funny. How many times in the middle of the night are you sweaty, crying, singing, covered in spit up and praying for sleep.... But it's totally worth it, right? We are raising little mighty men!


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