Letter to Carsen: Month 1 | 31 days

Dear[est] Carsen,

Today you are officially one month or 31 days. Congratulations to daddy and I for keeping you alive! Where is my chocolate cake to celebrate?

These past few weeks have felt like an out of body experience on repeat, and I didn't always feel fully present for parts of it. Probably the lack of sleep coupled with excruciating nipple pain. Thank God we have the breast feeding situation down, and instead of it being a task I dread, it's shifted into this beautiful experience we both enjoy, and a precious bond is being formed. Every time you are done, I kiss you on the cheek before burping you. You inevitably fall asleep on my chest, and sometimes I have you lie there extra long just because I like having you near. I know these sweet moments won't last forever.

I am sitting here typing with one hand while I hold your binky in your mouth with the other. Getting you to sleep is an art I haven't quit mastered yet. It involves you continually having lullabytes [an app on my iPhone] play near your ear, as well as your binky in your mouth as you fall asleep, but out by the time you are asleep. Mess this order up and you wake up… it's all about timing. And depending on your mood depends on where you sleep; either your bouncy chair or boppy pillow.

You grunt in your sleep, and while it doesn't wake you it keeps me up all night. I panic and think you are dying, so I'm up most nights watching you grunt and sleep soundly. The other night I swore you were choking, and as I reached to turn the lamp on, I spilled water all over the light socket. Thankfully, no one was electrocuted, and no you were not choking.

You LOVE getting your head rubbed as daddy washes your hair during bath time. You stare up at him like he is the best thing ever. You don't like to be swaddled anymore; instead you prefer your arms flailing. You enjoy my singing, which is unusual for most of humanity so I sing often and loud to your ever listening ear.

You don't look like a newborn anymore. It's like I blinked and you became a healthy looking baby. You are more alert and focus on certain objects and faces. You no longer have this far off stare, although you still occasionally cross your eyes which totally freaks me out.

This first month is only the beginning [literally] and while we are exhausted, your daddy and I are having so much fun with you. We love holding, talking with, worrying over, and going on walks with you. You, Carsen boy, are a joy and we are blessed beyond words to have you in our lives. Happy One Month my son, may you feel loved and cared for.


P.S. You now weigh 4.1kg [9lbs] and are 52.5cm in length [20.66 in] with a head circumference of 38cm [14.9 inches]