Dear Little One

Dear Little One,

I started a journal to you after we found out we were pregnant, but honestly hand journals are not mommy's thing. So I've decided to type my letters to you, because I would hate for our pregnancy to go by and all the fun details get lost or forgotten.

Daddy and I found out we were pregnant on September 2, 2012 at 4 weeks! It was so early and we were so surprised. Not surprised like we didn't think it could happen, but surprised in the best sense of the word. We were also a little nervous because this is all new territory we are stepping into.

I was feeling a little sick and thought... maybe. Daddy suggested taking our last pregnancy test [we had one left over after we thought we might be pregnant in Omaha while visiting Oma and Opa].

The test showed a faint line, so we were a bit confused. Were we or were we not? Daddy did some research [of course he did!] and we decided to buy more tests. I took another test Monday and sure enough a DARK line appeared.

We were so happy!

It took mommy four home pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctors to really grasp what was happening. I just couldn't believe I was given the privilege to carry you!

We called you little one and began to pray for health, wholeness, and life over you.

Honestly we aren't really sure what to do, but we have amazing family and friends all over the world who can help us. But for now we are enjoying the fact that we are pregnant with YOU!

We told the grandparents about you on Thursday, Sept 6th and they were all so excited! Mommy's parents - Oma and Opa - were giving each other high fives and celebrating LOUD [not unusual]! While they were excited for mommy and daddy to be parents, they were more excited to be your grandparents!

They all love you so much already! Little one, know you are loved and cared for and we cannot wait to meet you. It is an honor to carry you while you develop. I'm blown away how one body produces another. I can't wrap my mind around it. We serve an awesome Creator and you, my little one, are incredibly special!

I went through the normal 1st trimester pregnancy "issues." Throwing up, sensitive nose, total exhaustion and I got occasional migraines which made me throw up too. One day I slept more than I was awake! It's a lot of work making you!

But know this little one, I am so grateful for the honor of carrying you. Know that I am not perfect. I will mess up. But know more how much I love you and believe in you. Every night I pray complete health, wholeness and life over you.

I didn't have crazy craving like many people talk about. For a while in the 1st trimester I always wanted a plain bagel with cream cheese. I also loved to eat grapes [that one is still going!] and my appetite for meat decreased. But I'm working really hard to keep my protein up.

We had our first ultra sound on October 16th. You looked like a little gummy bear [which is what I called you for a little while - my little gummy bear].

We had our second ultra sound on November 27th. You looked like a dinosaur and we saw your heart beat and you were kicking. Daddy fell in love hard that day! It was so great to see him connect with you.

Mommy's friends threw me a surprise baby shower for you. It was a fun time with friends and they got to love and dote on you with gifts. I must admit it seemed very surreal. I've gone to many baby showers and planned many baby showers, but this time it was for us! Mommy and baby!

Last night, December 16th we felt you kick in my belly for the first time! Oh baby, we were so excited! We were laying in bed after packing to move from Kona, Hawaii to Cape Town, South Africa. Mommy's back has been hurting and so I was laying on a heating pad and daddy was there with me, he had just given me a back massage. All of a sudden I felt a flutter in my stomach. Everyone told me you kicking would feel like gas bubbles, but little one, your mom know what gas bubbles feel like and that was not a gas bubble. I turned to daddy and said, I think the baby is kicking. Daddy got so excited and put his hand on my belly to check himself. Sure enough you kicked for him and we both screamed and squealed like we were little kids! WE FELT YOU KICK! Little one, it's one of the best feelings ever!

We hope to find out what gender you are while we visit Oma and Opa in January. You just need to be in the right position. Daddy and I both do not care if you are a boy or a girl. Seriously, we are happy 100% either way, we just cannot wait to meet you!

Tomorrow, mommy and daddy say goodbye to Kona, Hawaii. It's the place we met, fell in love and spent our first part of marriage. It's where we found out we were pregnant with you, saw your first pictures inside mommy's belly and where you first kicked in my belly. We have great memories from this little BIG island and someday we hope to bring you to visit.

But we are excited because we are moving to Cape Town, South Africa with an amazing community of friends. The Lord told us to plant a long term community in the Cape Flats and that my little one is what mommy and daddy and YOU are going to do.

We will give birth to you there, and South Africa will be our home! The three of us get to start in a new place together. We get to listen to the Lord together and meet our neighbors together. We get to start ministering together and loving people together! What a great way to start a life together.

Little one, we cannot wait to meet you. Know you are loved deeply by your parents, grandparents, and aunties and uncles. We believe in you and know you have a destiny that will change this world for the good. Your life will help bring His Kingdom come to earth as it is in heaven and it's my honor to carry you these first nine months of your life.

We love you little one.
Our gummy bear.
Our dinosaur.

Mommy + Daddy