Shit Happens
It’s raining. Again.
It ALWAYS rains here.
Everyday.
Rain ALWAYS makes me feel depressed. My uncle says I need more Vitamin D than most. Seattle would push me over the edge. I’m sure of it.
My aunt has cancer. Or had. I’m not really sure. I found out in an email today. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Not once, but twice.
I walked home in the rain and secretly hoped lightening would strike. Kind of like nature punishing me like life seemed to be punishing my aunt.
I am extreme and my responses come in waves of intense emotions. I don’t really wish lightening would strike but when news of this nature reach me heart I think all of life should STOP.
But.it.doesn’t.
Life.most.definitely.continues.
Doctors found a tumor in my friend’s liver on Thursday; I found out just ten minutes ago. He had cancer when he was 14 years old. He is getting married this month. His wife is beautiful.
About a month and a half ago my friend was diagnosed with a form of cancer. She is an amazingly strong woman. But like my aunt and friend, she doesn’t want to be sad. She too, is living life and pressing on.
I.
want.
to.
be.
sad.
I want to throw myself onto the ground, lay in the fetal position and cry. They would tell me I am being ridiculous – which I might be – but WHY CAN’T I BE UPSET?
This.changes.their.lives.
I.hate.cancer.
It.is.dumb.
It ALWAYS rains here.
Everyday.
Rain ALWAYS makes me feel depressed. My uncle says I need more Vitamin D than most. Seattle would push me over the edge. I’m sure of it.
My aunt has cancer. Or had. I’m not really sure. I found out in an email today. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Not once, but twice.
I walked home in the rain and secretly hoped lightening would strike. Kind of like nature punishing me like life seemed to be punishing my aunt.
I am extreme and my responses come in waves of intense emotions. I don’t really wish lightening would strike but when news of this nature reach me heart I think all of life should STOP.
But.it.doesn’t.
Life.most.definitely.continues.
Doctors found a tumor in my friend’s liver on Thursday; I found out just ten minutes ago. He had cancer when he was 14 years old. He is getting married this month. His wife is beautiful.
About a month and a half ago my friend was diagnosed with a form of cancer. She is an amazingly strong woman. But like my aunt and friend, she doesn’t want to be sad. She too, is living life and pressing on.
I.
want.
to.
be.
sad.
I want to throw myself onto the ground, lay in the fetal position and cry. They would tell me I am being ridiculous – which I might be – but WHY CAN’T I BE UPSET?
This.changes.their.lives.
I.hate.cancer.
It.is.dumb.
Powerful. My heart sank for you when I read this. Cancer IS dumb. I am so sorry. I am praying for you, and I love you.
ReplyDeleteBe upset. Crying on the ground is sometimes the right thing. I really miss you.
I'm so sorry for your news. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the news, Lindsay. You have a BIG heart & that's a wonderful thing. It's o.k. to FEEL, it's o.k. to be UPSET... I feel for you friend.
ReplyDelete