When All Else Fails I Grab My Brown Paper Bag and Start Breathing Deep

I always said I live in extremes, but today I realized this is not the case in every area of my life. This afternoon, my beautiful team of twelve came together to discuss what/how to “fight” human trafficking and prostitution within Panama City.

Go big or go home, right?

My past is filled with people who instructed me. I followed by implementing those instructions. Whether putting a clown suit on and creating a children’s program within minutes in Costa Rica or door to door evangelism and sharing my testimony during an open-air service in Kenya or creating a marketing campaign for an NGO in Pakistan – you tell me what to do and I will do it. Within that context we’d ask God what He wanted but there was always direction.

Plain and simple. While it may not have been the best way, it was the way I knew. It was the concept I was comfortable with.

So here I am, a YWAMer in Panama and it feels like I have all the freedom the world could offer and it scares the hell out of me. We have these huge issues of prostitution and trafficking with little direction and I’m freaking out. Everyone has their own ideas as to how to begin addressing these issues – all of which are great and on God’s heart – but we need God’s direction in order to put into practice His idea.

I feel as if my lungs are filling with water and I can no longer breath. I’m gasping for air but nothing is coming.

Lord, I am weak in my own strength. I need you. Please give direction and speak to my heart. Humble me over and over. May I continue to die to my rights and simply bless you, bless my team and bless those I meet on the streets of this city – however that looks. May I remember to lift up my teammates and champion them into their destiny. Amen.

Comments

  1. My prayers are with you, Lindsay. See your mom and dad every Sunday, but don't always get to talk to them. Love, Peggy

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